Although it seems a daft thing to say, losing the novel seems the hardest. I've worked on it for so long. I know it so well. The characters are real; to me at least. The setting is so vivid. I've invested so much of me in that story. It's been a huge part of my life. How can I just ditch it, leaving my characters destitute and directionless? Because it just wasn't working. I thought it was, really I did, but it never quite came alive on the page. I feel I should bury it in the garden, give it a little ceremony, a gravestone perhaps. Only the cats would dig it up, and, anyway, it would be silly. But I loved it!
So what next? Can I ever write anything else again? Can I find a new story, new places, new characters? Will I love them as much? Will they even speak to me? I think so. Who knows? But I'm going to give it a damned good try. And I've already updated my pinboard with new pictures, so that's a start!
This is a fascinating post and one I can empathise with. The novel I ended up doing for my PhD was the second one I had started. It was hard realising the first one wasn't working and I had to let it go. As you say I had invested so much time and I had to walk away but it was the best decision I ever made as the second novel was so much better than the first. Enjoy building your new story Sue and thank you for putting this post up.
ReplyDeleteI think I'm on about the 8th novel but it's been particularly hard letting this one go. It was the one that got me the agent so I really thought it was good enough. The new one is coming though, so I'm hopeful!
DeleteI think a lot of us can empathise on this. I'm now on my fifth novel and with four little darlings all wrapped up and nestling in drawers. It's the last one (actually the third I started) which leaves me most bruised. It had a special significance, I'd been brewing it at the back of my consciousness for years, I rewrote it completely from third person to first and then sent it for editorial review. And guess what? Ah well. It's all good for our development. So chalk it up to experience and move on. You're good at that. I know.
ReplyDeleteBruised - yes, that's exactly how it feels! But I am moving on and getting quite excited about the new one!
DeleteWhat an interesting mix of images on your noticeboard - is that a dodo I see? And a ballerina? It will certainly be an interesting mix in your new story!
ReplyDeleteDo you think you may return to your old story one day? That is how I deal with the loss of a story or even a character, I just promise myself (and them) that I will resurrect them one day - and I try not to cry while I am saying it.
Standard stuff for the pinboard are the dodo (love them, no idea why), the wolf (no explanation necessary), and the ballerina (my daughter a few years back)! I doubt I'll ever get any of them into my stories but you never know. As to the old one? I don't know. Perhaps it just wasn't good enough, but I'll always have a quiet yearning for it. It is a loss, isn't it?
DeleteNot only can you start something new but you will be surprised to discover that the old manuscript will live on in a gazillion ways in anything you write from now on. Nothing is a waste of time. Many good wishes on the new adventure!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Candy. I may sulk for a while longer, but the new one is drawing me in!
DeleteDo you suppose your new hair will come in ringlets? Or platinum blonde? It's kind of exciting.
ReplyDeleteSo far straight, but appears to be patchy black and white! Where's that hair dye? Apparently my real colour will come back eventually though! :-)
DeleteI feel like this after every manuscript I finish (and I'm now on my eighth). So, to answer your question, of course you will find a new story, full of new characters to love, new settings to create, and new voices to speak to you and bother you, particularly in the middle of the night!
ReplyDeleteExactly! Here I am at 1.59 and Scrivener calls. Yes, I do like it. And, yes, the new voices are starting to speak to me. Either that or it's insanity.
DeleteI need a pinboard.
ReplyDeleteOh you do! And you can spend ages cutting out nice pictures to put on it and can count it as writing time!
DeleteKnowing when to let go of a book is the hardest thing - I guess it's a bit like letting go of a relationship that isn't working. Inevitably, we hold on too long and that makes the parting all the more difficult. But, if there's any time to make a fresh start, it's now. Good luck with the next one!
ReplyDeleteIt is hard, but not my decision alone. I guess that's why I still have a hankering for it. I'm thinking though that the new story will soon take flight and then I can really move on.
DeleteKnow exactly how you feel about the novel. But branching out in so many new ways is a great beginning for 2012.
ReplyDeleteIt is, isn't it, Carole?! Now I just need to stop researching and start writing!
ReplyDelete