September - the month of new things!

It's been a long time since I wrote a blog post. Bad. I know. But so many things have happened. Some good. Some bad. Some weird. More on all that later on when there is something concrete to say.

In the meantime, it's September. The month that always means new notebooks! Who can forget those new school year exercise books? The ones you were going to write in really neatly? I've always loved September. New things, new season. September's sort of like New Year but without the pressure. I have new notebooks. Field Notes. Yup. Not Moleskines. (Although I await my new Hobbitses.) I have a new pinboard. I have - wait for it - a new story! Oh, yes. AND it's a fantasy.

But back to the old one, which is actually new as well, only it's all done. So I finished my novel. Mudlarks. It's not bad. In fact I'm very pleased with it. It's gone to Lovely Agent, so now I wait. I've been sensible and have written an outline for book two. I have an outline for another story in a similar vein. But I'm not writing them. That would be foolish until I see what sort of reception I get for Mudlarks. Did I say I'd finished it?

So, new stuff! I'm writing a fantasy. Who'd have thought it? It's got good stuff, it's got bad stuff, it's got weird stuff. It kind of mirrors my life! Oh, how I'm enjoying the freedom. It's such fun! Maybe I'll never finish it. Maybe I'll never show it to anyone. Maybe that's why I'm loving this so much. See, that's the thing about new stuff, new seasons, new notebooks, new Scrivener files. You can do whatever you like. You can be a new writer!

I'm beginning to feel that this month really is a new year for me. To be honest, 2013 has not been ideal so far, but I'm starting to feel optimistic. I'm starting to feel the excitement of the new, the hope, the thrill, the moment when you catch your breath and feel that anything's possible.

Happy New Year to one and all. May your new notebooks be filled with words - wise words, silly words, beautiful words, nonsensical words. I know mine will be!

Timid Souls and the Bravery of the Writer

I recently read an interview with documentary maker PollyMorland who has written a book about being brave. She was inspired by a group of musicians, the Society of Timid Souls who formed in 1942 with a view to facing their fears and confronting stage fright. It got me thinking. There is a lot here than can translate to writing. So how brave are we as writers? There seems to be a lot of fear in the writing world, and it takes many forms.

Before you even write a word, there is fear of the blank page. What to write, how to write it, can you even write at all? It can become the old "who do you think you are to even consider writing anyway" ploy. And the bravery? It's sitting down and writing that first word. Just one word will kick start the rest, but you have to do it. Even if it's a rubbish wrong word, you have to take a deep breath and write it. The white page or screen is enough to strike terror into a timid soul, but bravery will get the words out somehow.

Then there's the mid-point. Can you finish the story? Is it going anywhere? Is it any good? Should you take up knitting instead? Timid souls would probably have taken up knitting somewhere half way through chapter two, but brave ones battle on until the end, forcing the words out when they don't want to be written.

It's done. You have a story. Here the fear really kicks in. Dare you send it out? Will everyone, as you suspect, hate it? Will they laugh in your face and ask you why you even started? Who knows? You have to be brave and let others see it.

They like it! Timidity crawls back out from under its stone and grabs you by the throat. It lets you know there are two types of fear now; fear of failure, but also fear of success! Both can be crippling. You've gone this far, you have to clench your fists, grit your teeth, (and other clichés) and carry on.

Writers can seem a timid lot; quiet, solitary, stuck in the garret, but inside we have strong, brave hearts and steel-rimmed determination. We have a quiet bravery. You may have to look hard to find it but I promise you, it is there.